Classical Teacher (Explicit Version)

J:] Hey Kage K:] Jables J:] How goes it man? K:] S''good… s''good J:] Y''know I been thinking a lot about it, and um, I just want us to be the best ****ing band in the world. K:] Well yeah me too! J:] There''s no point in doing it if we''re not the best. K:] Well s''true. I agree with that. J:] I mean what, yeah we''re gonna be, yeah we''re really good. We''re like almost as good as Arcade Fire, **** that. K:] Yeah J:] We gotta leave those ****ers in the dust! K:] What, what do you... K:] Yeah! Yeah, well what, how do we do that though? J:] sigh] Dude you need to ****ing have some lessons. K:] What! J:] I know, you''re really good but you gotta expand your game. K:] Lessons! J:] Y''know how Koby in the off season would go and like, learn a ****ing, Y''know a Texas Two-Step or something, to add to his arsenal? K:] Man, yeah, that''s true. That''s true. J:] Well I''ve just been noticing some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy. K:] Really? J:] And I, I hope you''re not pissed off at me but I went ahead and hired a dude. K:] Yeah? Oh no, what! J:] Dude, just give it a chance will you? If you don''t like- ah hey! I swear, if you don''t like it we''ll ****ing fire his ass. He''s out. K:] Who is this guy? I never… J:] His name is Felix Char K:] Urgh, what. J:] He''s from Spain and he is the best. K:] Oh god… J:] I got him from the ****ing London Phildsarmonic. K:] Urgh, I just, I don''t know him, it seems weird! J:] Will you just, will you just spend a minute with him? K:] OK. Alright. I''ll spend a minute with him. J:] OK bro, he''s right outside I''m sending him in. K:] Oh god, OK. Why? Lessons, so stupid. F:] Hello? K:] Uh, hi! F:] Hello, I am Felix Char. K:] Hi, uh. Felix? Yeah, um. F:] Ah, as, Jack has asked me to spend some time with you. Uh. K:] OK, hm. F:] One on one. So, while Jack is outside, ah we will work on your technique. K:] OK. F:] Can I see you pick up, is this your guitar here? K:] Yup. Yeah, I gotta it, I gotta it right over here. F:] Ah, it is a Fender ay? Is this a Fender? K:] Ah well it''s a Gibson. uh, manufacturer. Pick it up please, can you pick it up? K:] OK. Yeah. F:] No, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap! K:] What? What''d I do? What''d I do? F:] You pick it up from the neck! This is not the way you pick up a guitar! K:] I just picked it up, I just- F:] No, no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, cállate tu boca, pick it up from the body. K:] The what! F:] The body. K:] Oh the body! Body, OK. F:] I''m sorry about my accent. K:] I didn''t know, I didn''t know. F:] Now listen to me. I want you to play, like it is a woman. You go and play the guitar now. Play. K:] Uh, OK? Uh. F:] No, no, no, no, no. You, your fingers. Your fingers are too tight. K:] They''re too tight? F:] Yes, let me get behind you. Like this, you see? K:] Oh! Hm. F:] If I put my finger, on your finger. K:] Hey! F:] Then you can feel… K:] I can! Wait! F:] Sh, sh, sh, sh, shu! Finger to your mouth. I put my finger on your mouth, on your lips. K:] Mhmhm! F:] Yes that''s good. K:] Hey man! F:] Now listen hey, you want to play like an o****m. K:] I''m just try- what!? F:] Feel this. Do you feel that? K:] Oh God! This is really weird man! F:] That''s my c**k. K:] What! F:] That''s my c**k in your butt cheeks. K:] Oh God! Hey! F:] Do you feel it?